so here's my last blog before i leave. it's time for my mental break. time for me to breathe in the wonderful fresh pine cove smell. time for me to spend a week learning about my Savior. so, while i'm doing that, i hope you all have a good week!! and you're not allowed to have any fun whatsoever without me!!!

yesterday a group of us worked on the movements for music camp!! i love music camp!!! i don't think i could ever go a summer without it!!! anywho, we didn't finish but we got some stuff done. then last night heath and i went to see The Perfect Man--it was a really cute movie. i liked it a lot. and i had really been wanting to go see a good chick flick, so that was cool. anywho, not much to say right now...interesting week, but hey, aren't they all? time to go see what the rest of today holds...

i have the two most incredible best friends in the world.

nuff said.

so today i'm packing for pine cove. and you know what?? i don't think i've ever been more ready to leave. this next week will be a great opportunity to clear my head and really focus on God, without any diversions or interruptions. i just need to figure out what all is going on in me right now, because it's all kind of jumbled up. so i'm really looking forward to it. don't get me wrong...you will all be sorely missed!!! but i think a week spent in worship, prayer, and fellowship and just being in the Word constantly is really what i need. yeah, i will have to come back to reality, where there are plenty of interruptions, but at least i will have had time to just sit. in His Word the Lord tells us to "Be still and know that I am God." i get to spend a week doing that. and dancing for Him, and singing to Him, and getting to know some brothers and sisters in Christ that i may very well never see again until the kingdom.
i've been kind of "blah" about going to pine cove for camp this summer, as i have grown fond of sleeping in and such. but it is time for a change, and i have never been more excited about going there--and this is my eleventh year to go. i will get to see some familiar faces tho...i might be able to stop by ranch and visit my bro, and i will for sure see matthew eaton and ali lorenc at shores!!!! i'm so excited...no but seriously.

i've been having a lot of really great days, and a lot of really bad days lately, as far as my walk with God is concerned. today is so far a good day. praise God for that!!!

i'm running a life-long race with a broken ankle...my pride made it break, and i can't continue until i allow God to mend it. it hurts, but i'm trying. the starting line? humility...

i want out of this cursed funk, and i'm starting right now.

so a few of us went out on the boat yesterday!!! yay for boating!!! it was a lot of fun...afterwards heather and i got starbucks and rented a movie. hmmm....i guess that's basically all that i did yesterday...it was another in a long line of boring pointless days. i should end that pattern, cause it sucks. anywho, i'm very excited about going to Pine Cove next week--however, i am extremely sad that said visit will cause me to miss the mexico banquet thingy. every year i miss it for some reason--this year it's Pine Cove. well, at least this year it's a good reason.

ooh! today i got blood drawn (and by the way i didn't even come close to passing out this time!) and i don't know if maybe they were out of bandaids or something but the lady wrapped a tourniquet around my arm instead. that was interesting. sorry, not sure why i felt the need to share that...

well, that's all for now. toodles!

cd i'm totally digging: Coldplay-X&Y

book i'm reading: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

bored factor for the summer is at a high. blech.

and brent, i'm totally in the funk.

this weekend was really interesting...mostly fun tho!!! on saturday my parents and i drove up to pine cove to see ryan. once we checked into our hotel in tyler we all went to see Batman Begins--which by the way i really liked--and then went to dinner at chili's, where ryan proceeded to tell riddles that i couldn't figure out if my life depended on it. i hate riddles...i mean, they're really fun, till i realize that i just don't have the type of mind that can solve them very well...then i just get frustrated. lol. anywho, then we went back to the hotel and went to bed, except i stayed up reading till after midnight. :)
then today we left ryan back at pine cove :( sad story. church was good tho...i learned some stuff...felt a couple of pangs on my heart as a few things hit a little too close to home. but like i said, i'm changing, and i'm growing, and that makes me glad. so yeah, a lot of people came over tonight, which was fun, and then heath and i vegged out and looked at some stupid pics and ate lots of cookie dough.

mmmm, raw eggs. lol.

toodles!

wow, the past two days were a blur. yesterday i had a dr. appt. and then spent most of the afternoon with my mom getting ready for a party my parents were having. then i went to starbucks with heather, after which we went to the riskeys' house...i have so many fun memories there! i love the riskeys. anywho, i got to see some people i hadn't talked to in a while. that was nice. then around 10:15ish i left for maria's house, where we had a PARTAY!!! that's right!!! we had a senior gals sleepover thing and we watched Mean Girls and just kinda hung out...fun stuff. so then today i got home at a little after 10 and went with my mom to run some errands, then came back and slept for an hour. i woke up to learn that my parents had bought a croquet set recently, so my parents and i played croquet!! how cool is THAT!!! hmm...what else...then i sat down at the piano for a while...i love playing piano because it's kind of like my time to vent or whatever...it's just so freeing, and i can just pour all of my emotions into the music. so anyway, afterwards i went to kids kastle with a bunch of people, and we ended up coming to my house to watch Hitch. i really had forgotten how much that movie makes me laugh.

on another note, praise God that He continues to work in my heart and in my life in ways that i will never understand. the process is slow, but i know He is changing me from the inside out (outward manifestations of inward realities, right, brent?). so just know that it will take me a while to get through my situation right now...and to those who have offered encouragement, thank you oh so much.

"i'm not who i was
when i took my first steps,
and i'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet.
so if all of these trials
bring me closer to You,
then i will walk through the valley
if You want me to." --Ginny Owens

today was better than yesterday...i spent most of the day just writing. it was nice to just sit down and write for a long time, and not have to do anything else. then i went to bible study, which was fun...right as i got there, kristy pulled me aside and told me they needed me to sing for worship, and this was like 10 mins. before we started, so we had a really quick rehearsal...but it was still a lot of fun. i love doing worship. and it was kind of weird because what we learned about in bible study was the same thing i had been learning all day...different passage, but same basic applications. way cool. anyway, i have to go do some chores and then i think i'll read for a bit. i hope everyone had a great day!! love all around.

"A girl's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a young man should have to seek Christ's heart to find hers."

for those of you who have been around me lately, i apologize if i have seemed a bit off. i regretfully admit that my heart has not been in the right place a lot recently, and i have been really working on some serious heart changes since the beginning of the mexico trip. i was just listening to this shane everett song tonight that talks about casting away all of the crap in your life and counting it all as loss so that nothing remains but an undying love for Christ. so that's my prayer for right now...that i could just cast it all off, and be left with an undying love for my Abba. so again, i'm sorry if i've seemed weird lately, and...well, i'm working on it. like i said the other day, praise God that i can know He will always be faithful. and thank you to my best friend for holding me accountable in my spiritual walk when no one else really bothered to. it means so much to me.

so my surgery yesterday lasted about 45 minutes...but then i couldn't walk from the anaesthesia so they had to put me in a wheelchair to take me down to my car...then the meds made me feel kind of sick while i was waiting in the car for my mom to pick up my prescription, and i almost threw up...no bueno. so we went home, and i couldn't take my meds till i ate something, and i was in pain, but i felt to sick to eat, so i slept for an hour or so, then woke up, ate a little bit, took my meds and...couldn't sleep. weird how that works, huh? they give me chodine, which most def always knocks me out within 15 minutes, and it knocks the pain but i can't sleep. grrr. so anyway, one exciting thing tho is that after my first dose of chodine i didn't feel enough pain to need another dose, so i am off chodine except for when i go to bed at night. yay!!! i do, however, look like a chipmunk and as of right now can not make any facial expressions...yuck. and i can only eat soft foods...yay for pudding!!! i have found a new love for all things pudding. heather came over to keep me company yesterday, thinking i would be lethargic, and when she saw me coherent and walking around the house 3 hours after my surgery, we decided to go get my mexico pics developed...sad story tho, cause i won't get them back till thursday after 5 pm. so yeah, i'm not too keen on send-out picture development. but they were running really late on the 1-hour, and if i did send-out i got a free kodak picture cd. so that'll be nice.

so last night i went to hang out at heather harbord's house...everyone else went swimming, i couldn't because of my surgery...but it was still fun all in all. i got home at about 11:30, took my chodine and penicillin, watched the rest of Finding Nemo, and fell asleep. i then woke up at noon today and i now plan on spending the day resting...unless i can find something better to do. who rests during the summer?!?!?! not me. i'll have to find someone who wants to hang with a chipmunk-faced drugged-up dork...

ok so this will be a really quick blog because i have to leave in like two minutes...i have another surgery today on my tooth, i would appreciate prayer for that...and i also want to mention something my best friend helped me understand more strongly this week...the Lord i serve is always faithful, and He will never let me fall. praise Him for that!!!!!!

so, mexico is over!!! and i'm so sad. it was really a great trip and i enjoyed it immensely. on our site, there was a little girl named Mimi who is three years old and so adorable!!! she would always run up and hug us and give us kisses on the cheek. i seriously wanted to take her home with me!! i love her so much!!!! and the whole family beside that was really cool. they were obviously very thankful to have their new house, and they were very giving. they allowed us to use their table to set up lunch, and more than once the father helped us with some of the building and cleaning up. even though i can't speak more than a few simple words of spanish, we still were able to communicate through actions, which is a really awesome thing to experience. another cool thing was that the family had a video camera, so they were recording us a lot during the week, and they recorded the key ceremony as well (during which i cried, by the way).
i actually learned a lot this year doing individual bible studies. i decided to go through the gospels (right now i'm in matthew) and i'm learning a lot even though i've read them all before. having had trouble my whole life with just picking up my bible every day, this week i found a fairly effective method to get myself in the right mindset for a quiet time--writing. it really helps me open up my mind and heart a little bit before i get into scripture. praise God!!!!!!

"When everything inside me looks like everything i hate, You are the hope i have for change--You are the only chance i'll take." --Switchfoot

We most definitely leave for Mexico tomorrow!!! (well, at least, the advance team does) but anywho, i'm really flippin excited!!! some of the advance team people are going to spend the night at the church tonight, which is gonna be so much fun!!! and then we leave really early in the morning!!! anywho, i have everything I need......i just have to pack it all now. hmm......maybe i should do that...lol. speaking of which, i've got to go finish packing (and most likely do some last-minute shopping...again...)!!! I hope everyone has a fantabulous week, and for those of you going to Mexico, this year's gonna be reconculous!!! woot!!!!