i want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask

i really enjoy looking back on old blogs. it's just so cool sometimes to read what i wrote a month or a year or several years ago. it's mostly cool because, a lot of the time, i look at me-four-years-ago as a completely other person. but when i read what i wrote from then to now, i remember the story part of it. i remember what was going on in my heart and mind during the whole time that i was changing from that girl into this one. it's kind of awesome to be reminded of what the journey was like. i think we forget that part a lot...we tend to say, "i was x, y, and z; now God has transformed me into l, m, and n!" and yes, it's true, that did happen. but stories, whether in books or movies or plays or operas, are endearing because of the middle part. you can read what happens in the beginning and end on the back cover of a book, or on imdb for a movie. the middle is the meat of the story. it's the transformation of a character, or characters.
i like the middle of the story. i think we all do (if i'm wrong, so sue me. i said "i think"). i think maybe we like the middle because it's relevant to what's going on in our lives. generally speaking, none of us are really at the very beginning or very end of our story. we're all somewhere in the middle. maybe we know what's coming and what to do next, or maybe we have no idea. but we identify with the character when they're in the middle, because that's where we are.
so, i think i like re-reading old blogs because it reminds me of earlier parts of my middle story. plus, it makes my story a lot more interesting to tell to others. no one actually cares much for the factoids (where i was born, where i live now, what college i go to); they want to know what happened in between, and what's happening now, since i'm still living the middle story.

that whole blog just got way more philosophical than it was intended at the beginning. oh well, that's usually how my blogs end up. i would know, because i like to re-read them. did i mention that?