"oh, and isn't that just like a finite mind?...but now i'm at Your feet..."
okay so, i talked about this a little bit with the girls at bible study on monday. see, i've had quite a bit going on in my life lately...
school started, which, despite my very short summer, is an exciting event for me. i like school. most of my professors are really great and i look forward to the rest of the semester.
but here's the kicker: last week i started feeling sick. i thought it was just a stomach virus or something, and didn't think much of it. basically, i ended up going to the emergency clinic on 407 twice in two days, then to the ER saturday night. over and over again i have gotten false diagnoses as to what the problem is. the ER doc wasn't what you would call patient or competent. and yes, i know he got a great education in medicine and knows MUCH more about it than i do. but his priorities were skewed--getting me out of the ER was more important to him than figuring out what was wrong with me. since then i have been to two different specialists and over the next week i have to get three pretty scary tests done.
all of this while still going to school.
suffice it to say, i've been stressed. no matter what the outcome of the tests, it looks like i will have to undergo at least some type or other of minor abdominal surgery.
i'm scared.
but see, there's this crazy thing...Christ, moving in my life on a daily basis. i have learned through experience that this phenomenon has quite large effects on my life and perspectives. and it's happening again. see, even as i want to cry and be scared about what might be wrong with me, i get this sweet whisper on my heart: "kayla...I love you. I did not give you a heart of fear. trust in the Lord your God."
or, you know, something like that.
and i can't ignore what He's saying. and i can't deny it. and i'm grateful for it.
