today was nice. i got to take my mind off what's been going on in my life, and i got to go to a wedding (congrats wes and lizzie!! i love you guys!!!). the wedding was beautiful. afterwards i went to chili's for dinner with my good friends lisa, heather, and nikki :). then i went to a halloween party, which rocked!!! and now i'm exhausted, but not nearly as stressed as i've been lately. it was good to take a day and kind of step out of my normal life for a moment--i needed the break. not that i don't still have the issues i mentioned earlier....those will take a while yet to sort out. but today i'm doing well. which is nice for a change.

i'm working on things. i've been sort of reverting back to the negative, almost bitter person i was most of sophomore year. and it's hard, but i'm beginning to work through it. please pray for me--for my relationships with people and for my relationship with God. if you've talked to me lately, i'm sorry, i've probly been a jerk. just know that i'm trying. it'll get fixed eventually.... i'm just kind of having to learn another lesson the hard way.

i'm kind of frustrated with myself today. it's just one of those days where i can't finish anything cause i'm preoccupied--it's like the feeling that i've got something more important to do, except what i'm working on is what i need to be doing at the moment. i think my mind is on overload. probably an effect of the stress that comes from school, life, and extracurriculars that keep piling up every week. i don't know how i thought i could fit it all in. so now i'm having to figure out which things take the priority each day, since i find myself committed to four different activities all in one day. (i don't think i would have even realized that all these things occurred all at once if i didn't have my new trusty calendar to go by. it's sad when you run out of room on a half-page space for one day and realize you'll have to back out on half the stuff you've written down.) how did i get this busy all of a sudden?? i haven't relaxed in a while, and i don't think i'll have the chance to relax for another couple of....what?...days?? weeks?? i don't know anymore.

well now that i've rambled on for a considerable amount of time and you guys probably don't need to hear me complain any more than i already have, i shall bid you all adieu until the next time i sit down at the computer.

phase II of region choir auditions was yesterday. technically, i had already made the choir two weeks ago....this audition just decided what chair i made, and what chair i made decided whether or not i advanced to the next audition. i had to make 15th chair or better to advance. basically, i blew the audition. i'm sick, so my voice kept cracking, and i was so nervous that it was hard to turn the pages of my music because my hands were shaking so badly. then i completely screwed up the sight reading, which is embarrassing, because that's the one thing that i've always been really good at. so i got 28th chair out of 36 alto 2's. it sucked....not necessarily because i did so badly, but because i know how much better i could have done, had i not been sick or nervous. but i know at least four of my friends get to advance, which is really exciting. so, congrats to those guys, you all rock my face off......i'm off to bed.

dude, marcus won the axe game!!! 2nd year in a row!!!! flippin' sweet!!!

today was a fairly stressful day. i took my last two mid-terms--history and physics. physics was really the only stressful one because i spent so much time reviewing and i was afraid i'd forget it all during the exam. thankfully, i didn't forget it, so i hopefully got a good grade. it would be nice to get an A. like a 95 or something. that would be sweet. also, the next phase of region tryouts is tomorrow, and of course this is the weekend that i'm sick. so i'm practicing my butt off, then taking breaks to relax my voice and drink large amounts of hot tea. i love hot tea when i'm sick!! actually, i always love hot tea. anywho, now i am going to the axe game, which ought to be interesting because i highly doubt we'll win. oh well!! it'll be fun anyway. and then it'll be back to practice, then sleep, and then my audition. laters!!

the junior and senior girls got to play whirlyball tonight!!! it was a blast, as always. we should do it more often. what stinks is that we got there late, and then we got home extremely late because of a rather large rainstorm and some really bad traffic. nonetheless, i had loads of fun and i am exhausted. speaking of exhausted, please pray that i can find a way to get more sleep....i've been having issues with sleep for a long time and my doctor still doesn't really know what's wrong with me. i think that the lack of sleep is also causing stress level to rise because i'm so fatigued all the time. so...yeah....anyways, i'm gonna go to bed and dream of pine cove....cause that's where i'll be very soon!!!! w00t w00t

life's going pretty good lately. made the first phase of all-region choir (w00t!) and now i've got until oct. 16 to work on my songs for the next phase of auditions. we started chorus rehearsals for Beauty and the Beast yesterday, and i'm very excited, but i'm also sad because i know by the end of it all i'll be sick of the songs. today i saw my old algebra teacher.....she helps out with CHILL now but she retired because her cancer was getting bad. anywho, she's doing splendid and it looks like the chemo worked. she looks as healthy as i've ever seen her and she seems to not have a problem walking around. also, her hair is growing back, so soon she probly won't have to wear a wig anymore. so, i'm really excited about that. praise God that her treatments worked and she's feeling so well!!
the best thing about this week, tho, is that on friday i'm going to Pine Cove!!! aaaahhh i'm so excited!!!! w00t. no really--i can't wait. i've been counting down the days since i first found out i was going. and now it's only three days away!!!! well anywho i'm goin to finish homework and whatnot and then off to bed!!!! goodnight all!!!