new fun and gross health update: i have an ulcer and bacterial infection--in my EYE. ick. you see, a couple of days ago i found that my eye was burning and i couldn't quite open it all the way, or at all in bright light. upon close examination it appeared that my eye was extremely red. i thought i might be able to wait it out, and it would get better before this weekend so i could wear contacts for the show. instead, i ended up going to the eye doctor today, who proceeded to inform me that i have a superficial cut on my cornea, which developed a bacterial infection. if i can gross you out even more, he had to put numbing drops into my eye so that i could open it enough for him to look at the ulcer to see how bad it was. his prescription? antibacterial eye drops, to be put in every hour for the next two days, then 3 times a day for at least 5 days after that. so here i am sitting in french class, hoping no one has a phobia of people touching their eyes, putting the drops in. gross. anywho, it's been fun grossing people out with it today. me and my random health quirks. such is life!!! ooh look--time for more eye drops. laters!!! :)

OH----MY----GOSH. beauty and the beast is going so freaking well. i cried last night after the show, it was so good! i'm so happy right now. tonight was our 2nd of 9 shows and we SOLD OUT. we had to turn people away, we were so packed. that has NEVER happened before, as far as any of the directors or anyone else can remember. NEVER. and it's only our 2nd night. most of the people who came tonight had come last night, and they thought it was so good that they decided to come again. i mean, HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THIS?!?!?!?! seriously, if you were even thinking about not seeing the show, think again. you must come see it. i'm having the time of my life up there on stage. it's truly wonderful. OH MY GOSH I'M SO FLIPPIN EXCITED IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!!! yes, i'm tired, and it's been a lot of hard work, what with the intense rehearsal schedule. but it is all worth it. one hundred percent. every minute has been worth it, and so much more. i wish i could do this every week, instead of just the next two weekends. well, if i don't stop now i'll probly go on forever about it, i'm just so elated, i can't stop talking about how fabulous it is going and how wonderful it feels to be a part of it!!! so on that note i'm gonna go...oh, i dunno....watch tv or something. it's not like i can sleep right now. goodnight all!
**and you better all come to the show, or you'll be missing out BIG TIME!!!!**

traumatic experience of the day: almost passing out in the doctor's office. i switched endocrinologists, and my first appointment with the new doctor was today. my mother and i had to explain everything that is wrong with me (a list which has become quite extensive, as i have discovered) and he just kind of sat back and listened. then he told me that i can no longer eat simple sugars because, get this, i'm insulin resistant. it basically means that my insulin isn't powerful enough, so my pancreas goes into overdrive, and if i keep eating simple sugars then i may very well develop adult diabetes later on in my life. weird stuff. anywho, so he says he has to do a blood test. now, i hate needles, but over the past few years i have become accustomed to getting blood drawn. i've never felt dizzy or faint when getting blood drawn. but, for one, i had eaten very little before my appointment. so, by the time the nurse (poor girl, i think she was scared to death) took the fourth vial of blood, i could not speak or move for fear of puking or fainting, and i was breathing very heavily and quickly. i lost control--it was so weird, because in my mind my thoughts were something like, "wow. i can't control how fast i'm breathing and i can't move or speak and i am sweating profusely. i should probably tell someone about this. oh right, but i can't talk. hmm." my mind was calm, but my body was going nuts, like i was having a sort of panic attack or something. odd. so anyway, my mother and that poor, kind nurse had to take me by the arms and pretty much carry my body from the chair to the bed so that i could lie down. then another nurse came in with a protein bar and a glass of water. then, while i'm still attempting to regain control, my mom says, "well, you look a little better. your face isn't quite so green as it was before." also, the doctor was trying to be humorous and make light of the situation, and made a joke. i was not amused.

on a completely different note, pine cove was wonderful. it was exactly what i needed. i didn't sleep much, but i did get a lot of rest, if that makes any sense. anyways, i think it is definitely time for me to get on to bed cause i'm so stinkin sore and i'm crazy tired! goodnight all!

it's pine cove time!!! heck yes!!!

God Did
by Shane and Shane

Growin' up I overheard
All the grown-ups sayin'
You better be prayin'
And sayin'
All the right little things
At the right little times
And I had it down
At least on the outside
I'd put my best side forward
I could smile with the best
And dress like the rest
Of the messed up church folk singin' a song

Are you sitting down
With all your sin and shame all stored up
Are you ready to live
For what the Law could not do
God did

Could it be that morality
Got the best of you and me
Got us thinking
That we're on the brink
Of a drink of the cup that's all filled up
With the cross havin' even a little to do with us
It was His day
It was His way
To the glory of His grace
Took our disease
Enough to please
The Father of lights
To bruise Jesus

Maybe dos and don'ts
Were made to show
How much we do
And don't ever make it


I love Shane and Shane!!! w00t!!!

hmmm....don't know what to write tonight. i'm in a weird mood. on the way home from seeing Spanglish i just kind of drove for a while.....actually more like close to an hour. it was nice. i have a lot on my mind right now.....a bit of confusion. but other than the odd mood that i'm in life is goin alright. i mean.....i'm exhausted all the time....but still it's all good. life's getting back into routine, and thus is the paradox: when i'm out of my routine, i want to have a routine. once we get back to school and i get back into my routine, i quickly lose interest in it and desire only to SLEEP. that's all. just to rest would be wonderful. anywho, i think it would be a good idea to go to sleep now, since i'm about to lay my head down right here at the computer and snooze. i hope you all have a wondermous day!

wow....i'm so glad it's the weekend!! what a relief. surprisingly enough, school is not going too badly. actually it looks like this semester might be kind of fun, though challenging. i mean, besides choir, which i love, i have english 3 AP, french 4 AP, and pre-cal Pre-AP. so, yeah, it'll be challenging alright. but i'm not going to let myself stress out. i'm just going to do my work and learn as much as i can, and try to get more sleep (seeing as how the past two nights combined i've had about 7 1/2 hours of sleep). so, yeah. i need to get some rest. and i can do that this weekend!!! hopefully anyways.
some cool thoughts from school: i may in fact improve my french drastically this semester, considering the curriculum our teacher has planned. she's basically preparing us for the AP test and helping us work on becoming more fluent--as much as one can without living in a francophone country, anyhow.
i was kind of scared of pre-cal, but my teacher turned out to be cool and i think i will learn a lot from her. in any case, i finished my homework before the end of class, which means less homework for me over the weekend!! gotta love it!!
my english teacher seemed kind of boring when i first met her, but, although she is very quiet and kind of "weird", she is also very intelligent and has a love for reading and writing similar to my own. i think she is another person that i can learn a lot from.

anywho.....i hope you all had a great first two days back at school!! amusez-vous bien ce week-end!!!

Alias: season 4 premiered tonight!!! it was flippin sweet!!! totally my flavorite tv show ever. agh!! and i'm done with the grapes of wrath...which by the way i found to be somewhat anticlimactic. but the last couple of chapters were actually good. i just don't like steinbeck's style of writing because he drags out the story. i can't say that it was a terrible book. however i did not enjoy it all that much. by the time it started to pick up the pace it was over. that frustrates me. oooh and school starts tomorrow, and i'm not too terribly excited about that, but a regular routine will be nice to have again!!!! goodness gracious i'm exhausted!!! time for bed!!!!

(does anyone else think that this blog was way too random and ADD ish?? maybe i just need some sleep.......)

goodnight all!!!

long time, no blogging!!! lol. i've been fairly busy over the break. yesterday and today have been devoted to completing the reading of The Grapes of Wrath....John Steinbeck = the devil......argh. anywho, i'm finishing the book, slowly but surely. and i'll have it done in time. but it's torture just trying to read it. oh well. complaining won't change the situation. i just need to finish it and stop whining. cause, hey.....i'm gonna finish it no matter what it takes. cause that's how i am. so no more whining.

on another note...this break has been amazing. i needed it more than i knew i did. i just needed rest.....i mean, i still do need rest. but i also feel like it's time to return to reality and a set schedule. i need to have something to do. and as much as i don't like certain french teachers, who will remain unnamed......i look forward to the chance to learn more. well, i suppose i shall write more later. bye!!!

new year's resolution:
1. stop being lazy
2. stick to my word
3. get back on my diet hard core!!
4. no more procrastination

the list goes on and on.......