traumatic experience of the day: almost passing out in the doctor's office. i switched endocrinologists, and my first appointment with the new doctor was today. my mother and i had to explain everything that is wrong with me (a list which has become quite extensive, as i have discovered) and he just kind of sat back and listened. then he told me that i can no longer eat simple sugars because, get this, i'm insulin resistant. it basically means that my insulin isn't powerful enough, so my pancreas goes into overdrive, and if i keep eating simple sugars then i may very well develop adult diabetes later on in my life. weird stuff. anywho, so he says he has to do a blood test. now, i hate needles, but over the past few years i have become accustomed to getting blood drawn. i've never felt dizzy or faint when getting blood drawn. but, for one, i had eaten very little before my appointment. so, by the time the nurse (poor girl, i think she was scared to death) took the fourth vial of blood, i could not speak or move for fear of puking or fainting, and i was breathing very heavily and quickly. i lost control--it was so weird, because in my mind my thoughts were something like, "wow. i can't control how fast i'm breathing and i can't move or speak and i am sweating profusely. i should probably tell someone about this. oh right, but i can't talk. hmm." my mind was calm, but my body was going nuts, like i was having a sort of panic attack or something. odd. so anyway, my mother and that poor, kind nurse had to take me by the arms and pretty much carry my body from the chair to the bed so that i could lie down. then another nurse came in with a protein bar and a glass of water. then, while i'm still attempting to regain control, my mom says, "well, you look a little better. your face isn't quite so green as it was before." also, the doctor was trying to be humorous and make light of the situation, and made a joke. i was not amused.

on a completely different note, pine cove was wonderful. it was exactly what i needed. i didn't sleep much, but i did get a lot of rest, if that makes any sense. anyways, i think it is definitely time for me to get on to bed cause i'm so stinkin sore and i'm crazy tired! goodnight all!