"one two three BAILEY!"

highlights from the Netherlands...

-only the Dutch would have graffiti that says "KAAS" (cheese).
-only the Dutch would have a McDonalds that offers beer with a meal.
-only the Dutch would have bikes that are ninja turtle-colored. mine was named Stewie.

-apparently we brought the Texas heat with us: officially the hottest Holland in 300 years.
-only rained one day...it was probably the best day of the trip.
-i love those people i met there more than anything. no joke.
-peanut butter is my flavorite. Peter Pan peanut butter is what got me through the day.

-i love biking.
-i love rain.
-i love biking in the rain.
-i love CHEEUEESE!
-i love saying "anyung" and "turka turka turka..."
-i love vla. it's like pudding...and it's marvelous.
-i love voetball ("soccer"). even though i suck at it.
-i love willow trees along canals.
-i love getting out of my comfort zone. i mean, yeah, it's scary as heck. but i love it.

I--MISS--HOLLAND.

"glorious and mighty are your ways in all the earth"

i had a small, five-minute freak-out tonight.

then i was fine again.

i was with some friends, and we got on the subject of school, and suddenly i froze. i thought, "holy crap. what if i'm doing completely the wrong thing in completely the wrong place?" the freak-out continued from there for, like i said, about five minutes. then i remembered who God is. i remembered who i am in light of Christ. and i remembered...if i'm living based on that, and trusting in the Lord, why am i worrying about this?

and knowing that, like i said before, the freak-out was officially over.

it was a weird and eventful evening.

"take the shackles off my feet so i can dance"

holland starts wednesday.

i've never been more excited/scared/freaked out in my entire life. mostly scared...but also very, VERY excited. and still so completely not sure why God has me of all people on this trip. but He wants me there, or i wouldn't be going...so i go. and however freaked out, confused, scared, or excited i get, He's right there with me. watching over me...working in and through me in ways i can't even imagine...yep. i'm psyched. it's one of those things that just makes your heart beat really hard and really fast when you stop to think about it. and the words just can't come out fast enough, and you can't seem to form sentences...you know, that kind of excited. so you just sit, and you smile...and you let it come. let God work. how totally and completely awesome is this going to be?!?!?! i'm beginning to think all those daydreams about it don't come close. okay, i'm going now...officially too excited for words. TTFN!!! hehe :)

Amy's Song by Switchfoot

amy's gone
and time rolls on
how far, how fast, how long?

last time we saw amy
she was headed for the shore
fighting off the volatile grey skies
she said now begins forever
and that no one knows their time
we bid farewell not knowing that might be our last goodbye

amy was a fighter
she cut like casius clay
she burned like a fire despite these rains
where time was a question
she only knew one song
she's singing how far, how fast, how long?

salvation is a fire
in the midnight of the soul
it lights up like a can of gasoline
yeah, she's a freedom fighter
she's a stand-up kind of girl
she's out to start a fire in a bar-code plastic world

amy was a fighter
she cut like casius clay
she burned like a fire despite these rains
where time was a question
she only knew one song
she's singing how far, how fast, how long?

when everything stops moving
and i stop to catch my breath
and i ride my train of thought all the way round
my thoughts return to amy
and the fire she's begun
she came when we were freezing
and left us burning up

amy was a fighter
she cut like casius clay
she burned like a fire despite these rains
where time was a question
she only knew one song
she's singing how far, how fast, how long?

how long? how long? how long?

--i think i've said this before, but can i BE her? i would really like to.

"and if your words are true or not, i'll die tryin to prove them."

i love that God is faithful. i love those days that i'm just going through all this crap and He's just like, "hey, i'm right here." He has made His presence so evident in my life as of late...it is truly a prayer answered. and it is changing my life, every day. i LOVE it. cause the thing is, there are some things in my life that i don't like so much--some things that aren't what i would call "pleasant." but there's an indescribable...hope. i've always been an anxious person, but those worries have been replaced with hope, no matter what the outcome of the situation. you could say that God is teaching me a bit of perspective, among other things. and i am definitely realizing how much of a daily war we wage here on earth. that in part has helped me to focus a lot more on the reality that is today rather than my musings and worries about the future. God is right here, right now, with us...growing us...it's amazing. why think about tomorrow when He's RIGHT HERE? i wish i remembered that more often. yikesabee i LOVE GOD!!!

"my God, my God, why hast thou accepted me? it's the mystery of mercy and the song, the song that i sing." --caedmon's call