my "happy thoughts"

i had a marvelous choir director in high school who taught me great things. he taught me great things about music, yes, and i will never forget that. but that's not what i mean. i learned more life lessons from him than i do from most anyone i know. mostly because he geniunely cares about his students, because he loves his job, and loves the Lord passionately. he really wanted us to learn. and i did learn. but one thing he taught me has really continued to come back to me over and over and over again...

last year i was a co-assistant director, or whatever you want to call it, for our high school's JV choir. i know in reality it's not a huge thing...but i love to talk about it because i think it changed my life in a big way. basically our director allowed my friend and i to take over the class some days or for parts of days and learn how to teach...by teaching. he helped us along our way. i think i learned more about myself than about teaching, though. :) i learned a lot from the girls we worked with--who i love with all my heart! they don't even realize how they changed my life just by being willing to let me lead them a little bit and learn from that experience.
anyway, the point of my story. :) see, all the knowledge of having learned from them and whatnot--kind of a hindsight thing. there were some days where i didn't appreciate this situation God had placed me in because, let's face it, any group of 60 freshman girls is hard to deal with. you've got to discipline a little bit, and sometimes a lot bit, before you can even get to the music. the truth is, all you really want to do is just get to the music and show them the beauty of what can be done with it. if they would just focus and let their hearts love the music and really dive into it...they could reach the potential that you know they have. and that potential is so much higher than what they see in themselves. THAT'S the frustration teachers get...not that we're just plain angry for you talking; we just want you to be able to go where we've gone without having to look back and regret wasting time getting there. does that make sense? ugh. anyhow.
on a day when i was particularly irked by frustrations such as these, i went into my director's office and talked to him about it a little bit. i guess it didn't occur to me that he might actually UNDERSTAND where i was coming from. but he did. and as we talked...he opened a drawer in his desk. he said it was full of "the little encouragements" from his students...pictures with them, letters or cards from them, whatever it was...it went in the drawer. he kept it all. and on days when he couldn't see why he was doing what he was doing, he pulled out that drawer--and remembered. he was there not to be loved by the students, but to love them...to allow them to find the same kind of passion for music that he had...no matter how long it took or how much it cost him. it wasn't about what it cost him, it was about the reward the students got from it. their reward was his reward.
he told me to keep an encouragement drawer, or something to that effect, because in truth the discouragement will come much more often than the encouragement. but that doesn't mean what was there to encourage you is gone. it is never gone--and it is in fact much stronger.
so i'm keeping a little drawer, or a box, or a folder...i don't know...of the little encouragements life brings. and when my life is not going "as planned" i can bring those things out and remember...i am here by the grace of God, to serve and love, and share my same passion for Him with the world...no matter how long i am here, or how much it costs me. and i am not alone in it. :)
thanks to all who have been such a constant encouragement to me. your encouragements are kept in my drawer.