frustrated in flower mound

my health issues have become a bit overwhelming lately.

just had a procedure done yesterday confirming that i have a stomach ulcer. i'll be starting the medication for that tomorrow.

i am insulin resistant, which means i am at great risk for developing type II diabetes later in life. i have had so many different doctors' opinions on this that it makes my head spin. first i was told i did not have diabetes...then i was told i did. i've been on at least 8 different medications, all of which either didn't work or had undesirable side effects. the most recent, and most common, opinion is that i do NOT have diabetes, but am definitely insulin resistant and therefore at risk.
this, along with some other health complications, makes it very easy for me to gain weight and very difficult for me to lose it. naturally, the weight gain caused by these problems just makes them all worse, which causes more of the weight gain and all the other not-so-fun symptoms of insulin resistance... vicious cycle.

i have had sleep problems for as long as i can remember. i was recently put on medications that REALLY help with that issue.

since i got back from freshman year i have been really fighting to lose weight and get in control of my health. it's been a difficult battle because of the complications with my medications.

irony? i am finally starting to get my lifestyle in order for my health...and i'm actually gaining weight. care to guess why???

because that sleep medication--the one that works so well--just HAPPENS to also cause severe weight gain.

...that's just fabulous.

i am frustrated.

and all in all...yes, i know that God is in control. and yes, i finally have a doctor who is doing all he can to work with me on this. i'm changing, i'm adapting, and i'm growing. and all in all, i am learning more and more how to take care of my health bette...which is a very good thing. and i trust the Lord with all of this.

but today i am frustrated and tired. i am okay, i don't doubt the Lord's ability to get me through any situation, and i am not without great joy because of all He has done for me. today i am just tired. that's all. just...tired.