something new.

i step off the beaten path. i don't bother to look behind; what is ahead is too intriguing. further and further into the woods i delve, listening to its chirps and bellows, breathing the misty air, feeling branches push past me. it seems quite nice, so i decide to stay. but i cannot stop--i must go deeper.

i look down and notice scrapes on my arms...the vines that gather about me have sharp thorns. i begin to feel the sting but must travel on further.

i stumble a few times. once--or is it twice?--i trip over a branch, falling on my arm. i tell myself not to think about it...this adventure is worth a few scrapes and bruises.

the air is hot and dense, and breathing is difficult. sweat comingles with the blood on my arms and face. a certain type of panic runs through me. my heart beats faster...and yet, surely that is a clearing ahead. i will press on.

darkness now engulfs me. it is not raining but i am drenched in blood and sweat. i fall to my knees and hope that my weeping might wash my face clean. and now i see: i am filthy. dirt covers me head to toe, and my arm hurts from my fall. on my knees, i see that my scrapes have become large wounds. my bruises are worse now. was it worth the adventure to feel this?

i finally look up from my weeping. i glance to my side, and He smiles. He is covered in blood. no...He is covered in MY blood. His robes are tattered and torn. He puts His hand on my shoulder and looks into my eyes. i try to look away, but then...yes...He is weeping too. why is He weeping? this man, this man who has so much of my blood on Him...why?

but now...He...He embraces me. i don't think anyone has ever embraced me like this. He weeps, and embraces me...why? and now He says my name, so gently...and i relax, i fall into His arms at last. no longer do i weep, nor He. we stand--no, He stands, and lifts me. and smiles. oh, that beautiful smile! i begin to smile too, until i look back at my torn body. it is so unclean. He is carrying me--but no! i will make Him more filthy, with my blood, with my sweat! this pure shining man with dirty robes, and i am sure they were pure white once. and they are not now!! because of me!! no, He must stop, He must put me down...

He turns my face once more toward His. He whispers sweet kindnesses in my ear. I cannot take my gaze off of Him, not even for a moment. He sets me down once more; i am in a stream. and His robes! they are white as snow!! and now He is clean, and now, somehow...somehow i am clean! who is this man?

but i know who He is, and i fall to my knees once more. "Oh, Daddy..." i tell Him i'm sorry. i tell Him i'm grateful. and i ask Him the question...i ask Him why. He tells me...He tells me He loves me. He tells me i am His. He reminds me of the first time He carried me out from the forest. i begin to weep, but He lifts me up. He makes me stand and somehow in His gaze i find the power to stay upright and walk on.