"you don't know how lovely you are..."

so, the college thing.

i'm not perfect at it. there's a lot i have left to learn. a LOT. i see that more and more every day.

i'm learning more and more about myself every day...like for example, today i learned that i'm a bit more vulnerable than i realize...life actually can sting me. i know, sounds silly...i mean, i know i'm not immune to human pain. but some part of me was always just like, "this can't get to you. you can't let it. you have to be stronger than this, whatever it takes." and honestly...that part of me needs to shut up. there are things that have happened in the past year or so that have really struck me down. and if i can't admit it hurts then i can't admit i need the Lord to bring me through it.
i NEED the Lord to bring me through it.
on the other hand, i still know that, because i have my beloved Saviour, what hurts me doesn't have to break me. and it's not as big in the long run as it seemed to begin with. still...when you're in it, you're in it, and you can't get yourself out.

i'm learning more and more about my friends every day...i'm realizing that i have this wonderful body of believers with me, who i'm growing with and who are teaching me so very much. i appreciate all of you so incredibly much...we need each other at all times, not just when times are rough. and i am so glad that i have you at all times.

i'm learning so much about God every day...some of it is a reiteration/renewed perspective of things i've already learned. some of it is completely new to me. in short, God is loving me, and i am loving Him, and i still don't even halfway understand how to love Him like i should. beautiful thing: He's trying to teach me and grow me and KNOW me...NOT scold me.

like i said at the beginning of this post...i'm not perfect at the college thing. i'm not perfect at the life thing. not even close. but it doesn't matter. i am learning, i am growing. i am living and loving for my Saviour, and that is as it should be. He has carried me to where i am and He will not let go of me. i love Him.

and that's...that's me right now. i'm hurting...
i'm growing...
i'm healing...
i'm learning...
i'm loving...
i'm trusting.
and so many more great things. again, friends...God is ever beautiful.