'PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!'

in the Wizard of Oz, the character that i most closely relate to...is the Wizard. i can't tell you how many times in my life i have been going along, doing my thing, when someone caught me for who i REALLY am...and i immediately started screaming..."PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GIRL BEHIND THE CURTAIN!" and spinning wheels, punching buttons, flipping levers...frantically...anything i could do to distract them from realizing that this girl behind the curtain was the REAL ME.

i can't say i had a city built for me, or had people worship me as an all-powerful wizard...but, let's be honest. if a reality like that were offered me, i wouldn't go back to Kansas either. considering all the things i dislike about myself...all the things i would NOT mind hiding...it would only get easier and easier day by day to get behind that curtain and turn the wheel, push the buttons, move the levers.

i don't think any of us are exactly handed a realm like what the Wizard of Oz had. but we tend to do it in reverse order...we think that maybe if we just get behind the curtain...if we put on the show...then the Emerald City will get built. the people will come and ask for advice. and they'll never have to see that, after all, i'm just some girl and the show is just that...a show.

the majority of my life i put on the show every single day. i think, if it makes any sense, after a while i got so tired of the show that i was waiting for a Dorothy to come along and figure me out so that i could just be me to someone. believe it or not...the Lord brought more than one of those people into my life, over time (each of them blessings, i tell you what...). and, over time, i've learned to come out from behind that curtain on my own a little bit. it's not every day. and some days it's not completely. but what's amazing is that when i allow myself out from behind the curtain...it's not as scary as i expect it to be. i actually like me a lot better when i'm just me.
the me behind the curtain...even with all the flaws that i know so well...is a little more beautiful, a little more genuine, a lot more passionate. i think i don't know the me behind the curtain as well as i thought i did. i only gave myself enough time to learn her weak points...and then i shut her up behind that curtain, before i could find out she's strong in a lot of ways too.

the beauty, genuineness, passion, and strength of the real me...plus a lot of other characteristics i'm still learning...all come straight from the Lord. they're not manufactured, like the self i put on display. it's just who i am in Christ, and it's beautiful. and i would like for that girl to be a little less afraid of opening up that curtain from here on out.